Look at her, she is one in this picture and I promise already knows who she is. My baby just seems to exude confidence. She is strong willed, spirited and quite sassy. Pretty much the opposite of me, I am relaxed, sometimes passive and nice… occasionally I think too nice.
My daughter is a lot like my mother, she is fiery, bold, and full of tenacity, sure she tried to instill those things in me. She would tell me “I can” when I would say I can’t, she put me in modeling, dance and acting classes to bring me out of my shell, all of which I enjoyed but when things got tough I would panic, show anxiety or just completely shut down. I know that is not good but true.
It wasn’t until my mid-twenties that I realized I needed to work on myself. The thing I discovered was by my mom being such a beautiful, and strong woman she would always fight my battles for me. So while she was telling me what I could do, I really never did it, she did it for me. The love of a mother right? She would move mountains for me if she could.
Now I have a daughter and I get it, I want to move mountains for her too.
The best thing I believe I can give my daughter is teaching her about Jesus, showing how much He loves us by loving her as much as I possibly can and allow her to be who she is at an early age. Sure it can be frustrating at times downright aggravating however, I truly want the best the Lord has for her. And my beautiful little girl I just know will live out her dreams.
Well, how you are going to do that when you have confidence issues yourself?…
Ha! I wondered that too but then the Lord showed me that is why he blessed me with a girl. I have always related more to boys and having a girl got me out of my comfort zone. My daughter has been such a blessing to my life. I want to be better for her, so we are learning together. Well more like I am learning and I am just making sure no one puts out her fire.
How are we building confidence/ making sure no one steals her sparkle?
- Growing closer to the Lord. I have been saved since I was seven but somewhere along the line I forgot to ask Him what He had for me and needless to say that is when the depression, wallowing, self-pity, and turmoil happened. He never said this faith walk would be easy and the more I study His Word I realize it takes a lot of strength to be a conqueror. But if we seek Him, I mean truly give our lives completely over to Him we will be successful, happy and live out the dreams He has placed in our hearts.
- “No” “I’m scared” “I can’t” are not bad words, that is life and as much as we don’t want our children to hear those words, they will hear them at some point. It is how we handle the situation that determines the outcome, will we let them defeat us or will we let them encourage us?
- Praise and Encourage.Like I said earlier life happens, but if we build each other up and give support when life happens, we won’t give up, instead we will just move on to plan b, or if you are like me plan n… yeah I think I am on n now.
- Follow the dreams the Lord has for you. I think take that back know that is where I missed it. Please know that what I say next is coming from a place of Love. We tell our children “they can be anything they want to be” or they tell us they want to be a doctor and we immediately do everything possible to make that happen… However, that may not be the path for your child. I speak from experience, I switched occupations several times and don’t get me wrong I appreciate my parents always being supportive but, I wasted a lot of time because none of those occupations were for me. Even the ones where the doors did open, I wasn’t happy and it was because I didn’t ask the Lord if it was for me.When your child comes to you and says “I want to be a fashion designer” say that’s great now let’s pray and ask the Lord if that is the right path for you”. Then if it is I say buy the kid a sewing machine. He has placed certain gifts, abilities, passions in all of us, we just need to tap into those and clear away all the distractions.
- Set the example… Ahh… the tricky part. We are for the most part (not always) products of our environment. My daughter watches my every move lately. Today I reached for my purse and she said “need my purse” and grabbed hers. If I jump at a bug, she jumps at a bug. If I laugh and say something is funny she laughs and says “that’s funny”. Our beautiful little blessings are watching us. If we are hard on ourselves or lackadaisical they are watching and unfortunately maybe even picking up our bad habits. She looks up to me and while it is okay to show your vulnerability and sensitivity you don’t want that to be the only thing they see. That is why mommy is working on herself more than ever. I would hate if my insecurities would be the reason she lost her sparkle. I will be a doer, I will continue to seek God, she will see my strength that I have through the Lord.
- Be patient and trust God. Once God tells you, you will be a Dentist hold on to that promise even when everything around you is trying to tell you it is not going to happen. Trust God, if He said you are going to be a dentist, then you will be a dentist. Don’t give up. “For as many as are the promises of God, they will find their Yes in Him[Christ]. For this reason we also utter the Amen (so be it) to God through Him [in His Person and by His agency] to the Glory of God. 2 Corinthians 1:20
- Read and seek the Word. I know this is starting to sound redundant but this holds the key to everything we could possibly need in life. Whatever we need we can find it by spending time with Him in His Word. We can do all things through Christ who strengthen us (Philippians 4:13).
So there you have it our list of the way we are building confidence/keeping our sparkle. What are some ways you are working on yourself or building confidence in your child/ren?
I would love to hear your stories as well as learn something new that could help us grow.