“Mommy, what’s this?” … She knows what it is but loves for me to tell her.
That’s Harambe (the name of her gorilla) “It is Harambe”.
“Mommy, what’s this?” … I don’t know you tell me? … “MOMMY! What’s this!!?”
Sigh… I am trying to watch my show!
“What’s this?” …. that’s a cat.
“His name?” (we say together) Midnight.
“Aww, Midnight” (She the hugs the cat)
“Aww, give me a hug” (She then hugs me)
I love watching her little personality develop. It is hard to believe that a couples years before her I was depressed and questioning my marriage.
I loved my husband, however, I wasn’t happy, my friends and family were miles away, I was unemployed, and since he was still in school, we had very little money. I tried to get a job, went on interviews, networked, but to no avail, doors were not opening. That was a frustrating time, in the past I had been quite successful. I could not understand why things were not working out.
“I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord; And He inclined to me and heard my cry. 2 He brought me up out of a horrible pit [of tumult and of destruction], out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock, steadying my footsteps and establishing my path. 3 He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see and fear [with great reverence] And will trust confidently in the Lord”.
Praise God, I heard His voice, and after some soul searching, on my knees praying, I finally got back on track, my depression was lifted. My marriage was stronger than ever, but I was still stagnant… I had a better attitude, however, something was missing.
Then the Lord revealed to me in an angelic dream my daughter. She was beautiful and we were happy. I woke up, told my husband I was ready to become a mom.
Since I didn’t have a job, I devoted most of my time to the Lord. I prayed, journaled, read my bible, talked and worshiped Him.
Nine months later and about five minutes in delivery, our daughter entered the world. She was breathtaking! What a blessing. What joy. I saw my husband as well as myself in her and at that moment I decided I wanted to give her my best.
As I like to say, life happens, some days I don’t give it my all, but I strive to be better, and I refuse to give up.
Having her was such a life-altering experience. I was always looking for the purpose in my life and when I had my beautiful baby girl I found it. I love staying at home with my daughter. Because of her, I understand what it means to live for something more than just myself. She inspires me.
Being a mom has woken up dormant passions as well as talents that I put aside, also, helped me discover new talents along with strength I never thought I was capable of.
That doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes, I make mistakes constantly, and I have days when I want to run out of the house screaming questioning every decision I have ever made.
“Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles”. -Sharon Jaynes
Motherhood is hard work! It can be messy, challenging, intense, sometimes downright frightening, but it is also rewarding, full of kisses, giggles,sweet hugs, beautiful memories and I wouldn’t trade my best day before her for my worst day with her. I love my daughter, I am honored to be her mommy and have never felt more alive.
To you, loving mothers.
We may not sleep like we use to or have a conversation without being interrupted. Our houses may be messy. We may have taken a detour on some of our dreams, slowed down a bit,gained a few gray hairs, and cannot take a bath or go to the bathroom without a little one disturbing us, but we are better off for it.
And you want to know what?
I think we are all doing an incredible job.
Motherhood has changed me.
To my husband and daughter, I am forever grateful.